It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life.  This will enable you, at 95 years old, to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5,000 per month.

My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's
now 97 and we still don't know where she is.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.

I joined a health club last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to show up.

I have to exercise early in the morning before my brain figures out what my body is doing.

I don't exercise at all. If God meant us to touch our toes, he would
have put them on one of our hands.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by those who annoy me.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day is that you die healthier.

If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country.